my husband is a dope
But implicit in this assurance, the basis for it, is a way of life which gives you and your husband great joy in each other and in your home. Everyone who comes in contact with you senses this. Unfortunately, there are many homes where there is no satisfactory way of life and so there is a great deal of insecurity. There's hardly one of us who hasn't gone to a beautifully planned party in the home of an attractive couple who could not refrain from criticizing each other all the time, to the embarrassment and discomfiture of their guests. There are the times when only one member of the couple makes sly, disparaging remarks about the other in the presence of guests. That kind of insecure person wants others to know that he's all right and knows what's proper, in spite of a gauche mate. If these misguided people realized that their be­havior arouses sympathy for the person for whom they're apologizing, they might stop. But of course they don't.

your qualms are yours
Perhaps you can't help being insecure about your home, your cook­ing, your husband or your wife, or your social status. If you can't, then at least keep your misgivings to yourself. To let your guests know your qualms is uncomfortable and embarrassing to them; it is unkind to your spouse, and certain to defeat your hope of entertaining well. If you can inhibit your doubts sufficiently, and take your mind off yourself long enough, you will see how much people enjoy your party. And when a party goes well, there's nothing to apologize for.

don't work at entertaining
In the homes where the best entertaining is done, one is never aware that the host and hostess are working hard at it. Yet it is a job to enter­tain. What we've already said about planning and preparation before a party proves that. In spite of the work, entertaining is one of the most rewarding jobs there is, and if you don't enjoy it, something is wrong. It ought to be pleasurable work which you do in the most unobtrusive way possible. Some people never have to learn this; they just naturally know about other people, and instinctively do things gracefully and well. If you find it hard to understand why anyone should be afraid to have a party, or that it's possible for a party to go badly, you are probably a born party-giver and you needn't consider the matter further. If, however, you do not feel that blissful sureness, there are ways to straighten yourself out. Unless you're a misanthrope, you're not doomed to entertain badly.