You have then to explain this, and let him decide who's to be eliminated. But don't make boys invite girls, or vice versa, if they don't want to. Don't make your child invite another child simply because he lives next door and his mother will be annoyed with you if he isn't included. Don't force his cousins or the children of your best friends on him. To be sure, you want your child to realize that he has social obligations, but he will learn that naturally when he understands that if he has accepted invitations, he must return the hospitality offered him.

"goodbye, i had a very nice time"
Of course you know, because you do it yourself, that each mother has said to her child, "Don't forget to tell Mrs. Jones that you had a nice time at the party." But you also know that you knock wood when you say it, hoping that your well-brought-up child will remember.

If you really want to help all children who are guests in your house acquire that social ease and grace, you will carefully tell each child who leaves your door how much you've enjoyed having him at the party. Real warmth from you is far more likely to inspire gratitude from him than all the instructions his mother may have given him. You will be helping the child toward that wonderful day when, not because it's done, but because he's really liked the party, he will be able to say to you, "Goodbye, Mrs. Jones. I had a swell time"-and mean it with all his heart. Don't expect this spontaneous reaction much before the age of eight or nine. Before that, you'll know whether they've had fun by watching them at the party, but they won't want, or be able, to tell you much about itl

birthday parties
Birthdays have always offered one of the best excuses in the world for giving parties-for children or adults. There ought to be a celebra­tion for every person in the world at least once a year, just because he is he. A birthday party immediately raises the question of presents. Should the hosts admit that this is a birthday party or modestly conceal it? I think they should admit it without question.

It's fun to receive presents and even more fun to give them. Here is another point at which children should participate. They should help to choose the presents they will give and also have at least a part in paying for them. If your child's allowance is very small and you feel you ought to provide some extra money for buying presents, don't make that extra out of all proportion to your child's own funds.