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the jane austen touch
Sometimes a lady has occasion to introduce her husband. She never calls him "Mr. Smith." She may say simply: "Mrs. Jones, I'd like to have you meet my husband." or "Mrs. Jones, this is my husband, John Smith." That doesn't mean that Mrs. Jones is going to call Mr. Smith "John" in the next breath. But it is the way in which Mrs. Smith nat-usually, and properly, speaks of her husband. We no longer live in the Jane Austen world in which all ladies under all circumstances referred to their husbands as "Mr."
never: "i'm mrs. jones"
In the same fashion, when a woman introduces herself to a contemporary she says, "I'm Dorothea Jones," never "I'm Mrs. Jones." On the other hand, if she introduces herself to a child or teen-ager, she will probably say, "I'm Mrs. Jones." This is the same principle which says that you do not sign a letter "Mrs. Jones" or "Mrs. John Jones," but "Dorothea Jones." If more identification is necessary, you may put "Mrs. John Jones" in parentheses under the signature, and for the same reason you may say, "I'm Dorothea Jones-Mrs. John Jones."
first names
First names in other introductions, because we are generally informal nowadays, are perfectly correct. When you say: "Mary Jones, this is John Smith," you indicate, especially if your guests are close friends of yours, that you expect them to get rapidly onto a first-name basis.
Of course you introduce children by their first names. No matter how old they are, never introduce a daughter or a son as "Miss" or "Mr." You merely say: "Mrs. Jones, this is my son." Whereas with youngsters, you say: "Mrs. Jones, this is my daughter Betsy." When you introduce your married daughter, however, you say, "Mrs. Jones, this is my daughter, Mrs. Jamison."
don't make it a quiz
Never, under any circumstances, when you introduce yourself, start by saying, "You don't remember me," or "You don't know who I am, do you?" It's embarrassing, and there's no reason why you should take your identity for granted. It's presumptuous.
"how do you do?"
Almost invariably, when introduced to someone you say, "How do you do?" The tone of your voice will indicate just how pleased you are. If it's someone you've heard a great deal about, you will normally say, "I'm very glad to meet you," but you may want to add something like: "I've been hearing about you from Mary for so long that it is a pleasure to meet you at last." To the first greeting the other person answers,
"How do you do?" also. To the second, he or she would probably answer, "Thank you. It's nice to meet you, too." Never under any circumstances does one answer, "Pleased to meet you," or "Glad to meet you."
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